Attachment Isn’t Just About Childhood - It Shapes Our Relationships Today
You may have heard the term attachment style before. It’s often linked to early childhood experiences - how we bonded with caregivers, how safe or secure we felt in being ourselves, how our needs were responded to.
But attachment isn’t just something that happened in the past. It’s something we live out - every day - in our adult relationships.
It’s in the way we reach for closeness (or pull away), the fears that rise when someone doesn’t reply, the discomfort that comes with being truly seen. It’s in how we manage conflict, how much we trust, and how much of ourselves we allow others to know.
So what are attachment styles?
While every person is unique, there are a few common patterns:
Secure: You feel generally safe in relationships. You’re comfortable with closeness, able to trust, and can also set healthy boundaries.
Anxious (preoccupied): You crave closeness and connection, but may fear rejection or abandonment. You might overthink or feel easily unsettled when someone pulls away.
Avoidant (dismissive): You value independence and often feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness. You may find it hard to trust or depend on others.
Disorganised (fearful-avoidant): You long for connection but also fear it. Relationships can feel chaotic, unpredictable, or emotionally overwhelming.
These patterns aren’t personality flaws. They’re adaptations. Often shaped by early experiences - but also influenced by trauma, culture, relationships, and healing.
The good news?
Attachment styles can change.
With awareness, safety, and consistent support, we can move toward more secure ways of relating - to others and to ourselves.
In therapy, we explore how your attachment style shows up in your life:
What do you tend to do when you feel hurt, unseen, or disconnected?
What beliefs did you learn about love, closeness, or trust?
What relationships (past or present) have shaped how safe you feel?
And gently, at your own pace, we begin to notice new possibilities.
Healing doesn’t mean “fixing” your attachment style.
It means offering yourself the security and compassion you may never have received - and discovering what safe, nourishing connection can look like.
Ready to explore this further?
Book a free 20 minute call - and let’s begin, together.